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GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE DECEMBER 10, 1993

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DECEMBER 10, 1993 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

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THE CENTER: NEW DEFINITIONS OF COMMUNITY

The Board of the Lesbian/Gay Community Service Center Speaks on Changes at the Center

Joan Organ, Acting President As president "pro tem" of the Center board of trustees, I offered the following message at the October General Membership meeting:

"In the October 23, 1993, Plain Dealer, an article, 'Spotlight on Unity, Diversity,' described the story of how the Near West Theater-an after-school theater program-makes unity a daily occurrence in the upstairs auditorium of their Bridge Avenue building. Near West Theater's executive director and co-director of their upcoming musical said the process 'hasn't been easy. There has been some name-calling, and the Black and White kids tended to mix with those of their own race. We were finding that all the Black kids sit here, and all the White kids sit there. So, now seats are assigned to force their sitting next to people they might not choose to sit next to.' "Eleven-year-old Brook Kress said there were problems early in the rehearsals. 'It went rough at first, but then we had a big, big talk, but then it still didn't work. Then we had a big, huge one after people went home crying. And then we worked it out.'

"I tell this story tonight because it sounds all too familiar. As you know, for the past two months the staff, board, and volunteers at the Center have been attempting to come together in creating our own production, 'How to Live as a Culturally Pluralistic, Multi-Voiced, yet Unified Lesbian and Gay Community.' We, as your board, are located somewhere in between the 'big, big talk' and the 'big, huge one.' Often we have 'gone home crying, but, unlike the Near West Theater children, we have not worked it out yet.

"We are early in our process. We are new to the examination of our personal and institutional racism, and yet we are 'old' enough to realize that we have a dilemma. That dilemma is we neither want to put People of Color on a board that is not safe for them, nor do we want to be in a position to deny a Person of Color a place on the board. For that matter, we do not want to deny any person a board position who has the desire, motivation, courage, time, good humor... to

serve.

"Unlike those children at the Near West The ater, we are not able to have dress rehearsals. There are no dress rehearsals and we live in a time when we as lesbians and gay persons cannot afford the luxury of thinking/acting as if this is a dress rehearsal.

"It is out of this sense of responsibility and commitment to our community; it is out of our increasing awareness and beginning understandings of difference that we, as your board, ask your permission to postpone the nomination of board candidates until January 12, 1994. The additional months would give us time to continue our conversation across differences, and, in continuing that conversation, we hope to be better able to support and to carry on the production of 'How to Live Together....'

"The director of the children's play said of her cast, 'This is such a wonderfully diverse community. We've got such richness to tap into....' I would like to close on a similar note, 'We are such a wonderfully diverse gay-lesbian community. Let us join together and tap into our richness'." That night the membership overwhelmingly voted in favor of postponing board elections.

As I prepared for that General Membership meeting, I felt stressed, and anxious, especially since I am not all that great on Robert's Rules of Order. I knew, as well, that the persons in attendance would be at varying degrees of familiarity with the Fishbowl in particular and with antiracism work in general.

When the Fishbowl date had been first announced and after I committed to participating I went to what I know-books. In other words, I opted for bibliotherapy (probably out of my own need for information). By September 10th, I had consumed White Awareness, Race Matters and Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism.

By October 27th, I approached the Center

membership with what I had come to learn and to feel as a result of my participation in the Fishbowl exercises-that we, as Center board of trustees could not/should not control the outcome of the Fishbowl/anti-racism process. I was and remain committed to what I called my "gut" sense that we were and are in process and that we must be honest both in and to that process. At the time of the membership meeting, I did not really have the language to articulate what my gut sensed. In fact, I remember saying to fellow board members, on the night before the General Membership meeting, that we needed to follow the "spirit" and not the "letter" of the law.

Two weeks ago I attended the NGLTF Creating Change Conference in Durham, North Carolina, and, in a session on "Transforming Monocultural Organizations," I discovered the wordsthe language that not only articulated what my "gut" sensed to be appropriate, but, more importantly, affirmed the direction the Center's membership voted to take.

In the list of cultural diversification do's and don'ts, Deborah Johnson-Rolon stated:

"Don't be rigid in organizational structure and planning to the point where new individuals sense that they cannot influence either goals or processes," and "do formulate plans and ideas that show good faith effort and a willingness to accommodate new input and sensitivities."

"Don't place the burden of cultural diversification on the backs of a few," and "do explore ways in which each individual and work unit can further the goal of cultural diversification."

Johnson-Rolon noted that we cannot think of cultural diversification as an end product; "Creating diversity is about creating processes that are able to deal with diversity on an ongoing basis." Johnson-Rolon said that "all diversity 'stuff' is about building new relationships" and "about talking to the people." I left that session feeling affirmed, feeling that the Center was/is indeed where it was "ready" to be.

In the closing plenary, Dr. Marjorie Hill talked about the need for courage and hope. "To be about the business of creating change," Hill said, "we need courage," and she added that "without hope our movement is dead." "True equality provides for and promotes a redistribution of power," noted Hill, and "this sharing of power is the only passport to true freedom." A diverse board is not created by adding one or two Members of Color, though Hill stated that such an addition is "not insignificant." Hill concluded that social justice and equality "are not done by accident or by osmosis, but by active, deliberate, conscientious sacrifice... by the development of a shared leadership... by the letting go of tight reins of control..." This letting go, Hill warned, "is a hard lesson; it is not a comfortable lesson to endure." But she added "the world at large is not comfortable," and the tension, the discomfort that we need to experience as members of transforming multicultural organizations who are letting go of control is a "small price to pay for social justice."

I returned to Cleveland with more hope, more courage, and more convinced that I, as a White, middle class lesbian, was where I was suppose to be, and that the Center, as an organization representing a community that is made up of other communities, was where it was supposed to be. Since North Carolina, I have attended two board meetings. I noted an air of individual readiness on the part of each of the board members to do her/his work. We realize how it is not enough to simply bring our "gay selves" to the meetings; thus, we are creating a place and a space where we can talk to and with each other about issues of racism, sexism, classism, and internalized homophobia.

I am hopeful today, and I am happy to be about building relationships. I do not especially like the discomfort and the pain that I have felt and feel as I do my work, but I do honor and respect the process. I feel that it is a small price to pay.

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Scott Bibbs, Secretary

My reactions to the recent efforts at the Center are best described in three words: interest, fulfillment, and hope.

As a Black man who has been actively out in the Cleveland community for all of my adult life, I was interested not only by the reception of the Fishbowl concept, but also by the reaction of my fellow board members, both before and after the Fishbowl took place. I have had the priceless opportunity to watch as people were brought together to face issues of racism and sexism that they had not perhaps confronted personally. The experience has been invaluable, enabling me to bring my own value systems and perceptions into sharper focus.

My sense of fulfillment came from the longawaited opportunity to share the commonality of life experience with not only other men, but also with members of the lesbian community on a oneto-one basis. I feel that above all other things that I have gained from this experience, my sense of respect and admiration for my Sisters of Color has increased ten-fold. It's amazing to discover that we all carry-feelings of estrangement, exclusion and anger, no matter how well we are received within the White community. It empowered meas a Black man to be able to work with other Persons of Color to organize the Fishbowl, however small my contribution may have been.

My feeling of hope stems from the reactions and the actions I have seen since the Fishbowl occurred. The board has experienced some serious changes, but I see, emerging from this maelstrom, a group of people with not only a renewed sense of purpose, but also with a new focus. I have noted with great interest that the remaining members of the board have realized that this work that they have begun is never really finished. I hope that I will be able to bring some of my knowledge and experience from Black and White Men Together to my fellow board members as another avenue toward the progress and equality we all seek. I also hope that, though the Center and its board are only just taking our first, tentative steps, someday soon, with encouragement and support from all of the greater Cleveland lesbian, gay, and bisexual community, we'll not only be walking, but be at the head of the parade for rights and honest representation of all of the people we are.

Bill Potoczak, Treasurer This is a terrific time to reflect on my eleven months as a Center board member and treasurer. In a recent letter published in the Community Forum of the Chronicle, former board president Dolores Noll noted that all recent board candidates, myself included; indicated their willingness to work on, among other things, our own racism and sexism. It is clear to me now that I did not have a clear understanding as to what this meant. When my term began, I believed that I was not a racist or sexist. However it has become painfully aware to me that I am inherently both a racist and sexist and that these factors effect the services The Center provides to the lesbian-gay community.

The evolution of understanding, by the board overall and myself as an individual, has been significant and accomplished in a relatively short period of time. During this time, some very uncomfortable issues have been addressed and sometimes very publicly. Much time has been spent at Center board meetings, the Fishbowl and many follow-up meetings discussing the board's racism and its plan to overcome it. I truly believe that we are beginning to GET IT.

We have much work to go. It will be a life-time process. Working toward that goal, we are planning more formal training programs and workshops for board members and Center staff. Hopefully, with additional training, we can begin the process of teaching others through this very difficult and, many times, painful process.

The Center has been labeled as a non-center, an organization providing services to select

groups within our community. We are becoming a true center though our continued work on our own racism. The Center is becoming a more comfortable place to visit. On a recent early morning trip to the Center, the staff was in early and the offices were filled with volunteers. The Center has recently reorganized its staff into more functional areas, hired new program managers, and, in a very critical position, hired Judy Rainbrook as Executive Director.

As a relatively new board member, my work at the Center has been extremely rewarding. There are many wonderful programs and services that we can and do provide to the lesbian and gay community. Please stop by and visit the Center.

One final note, from my perspective as Treasurer of the Center: it takes approximately $18,000 per month to run the Center. Institutional funding has become more difficult to obtain because of the increased demand from all agencies. Please give as generously as you can!

Peggi Cella

Ever since the People of Color Fishbowl, the Center board is beginning to learn what true community means August was a difficult time for all of us involved in the Center, but, sometimes, things must fall apart in order to come together. The Center board is very small now: seven people. We have begun meeting every two weeks instead of once a month. The White people on the board are struggling to educate themselves about racism and White privilege. The Center's board is operating on consensus when a vote is not mandatory. The new direction that the Center is taking has begun to make a difference. Yes, the Center is on the verge of growth.

Many people do not agree with the choices that I made or that other People of Color made during the upheaval at the Center. Some people

believe that all we wanted was an atmosphere where there was no dissenting voice. The fact is

that all we wanted was to have a true Center where we were part of the "community." We wanted a Center where community is not just an overused euphemism, but has real meaning. I believe the Center is headed in this direction. I am proud of the part that the People of Color played in the changes taking place at the Center, and I am proud of the part that SOAR played also. However, I do believe that the people on the board of the Center deserve kudos for taking a risk and examining their status quo. I believe it must be hard to admit that you have played a leading role in keeping the community divided, even if inadvertently. I also believe it takes courage and intelligence to understand how racism happens in our institutions.

Those who feel sorry for the troubles at the Center are missing the point. Many board members of the Center believe that, although at first painful, the events of the past few months have been a catalyst for real growth in individuals and that this individual growth will translate into institutional growth that will move our community towards each other. We all still do not agree with each other all the time. However, the difference now is that all of us are willing to stay at the table and work things through.

We are in the process of re-education. We would like all interested members of this community to join us in our new work. We have discussed plans to integrate our community with other communities on a national level. We will be looking at our programming, and all input is welcome. The Center is us-all of us. Please come by and become a member of the Center. Please come and help us restructure. Board meetings are open to the community, and, even if you can't have a vote at board meetings, your input is an important partof our ability to address your needs. If you want to have a vote, apply to be nominated for a board position. Show up for our membership meetings. Take part-be together-get what you want, what you need-have some fun with us, and let's make great changes for the Cleveland lesbian-gay community.

Al Cowger

The good news at the Center is that improvement is happening throughout the Center's structure. The administration has improved, the activities are more focused, the staff has been upgraded, and the office has been made more efficient. Undoubtedly, 1994 will demonstrate that the Center is better organized, more responsive to the community, and more financially and organizationally responsible.

Moreover, the Center has begun to address the pervasive undercurrent of racism, intolerance, and ignorance that has infected it in the same subtle, yet corrosive way that all Cleveland institutions have been infected. Some day, through this self-education process, I am confident that the Center will indeed be a central point for all members of Cleveland's lesbian, gay, and bisexual community to find assistance, referral and, above all, safety and solace.

Now the bad news. The efforts necessary to begin all these improvements have been stressful, fatiguing, and sometimes painful, especially in regard to the racism activities. This has caused misunderstanding and dissension within the board and the community at large, because some have refused to face their own inherent deficiencies and have rebelled at the attempts of others to correct these obvious problems. Even those who have gladly joined the process, such as myself, have endured confusion and anguish.

In particular, as a White male, I am constantly not only reminded of my personal racist insensitivity, but sometimes I feel I am being held responsible for the sins of my male ancestors. I sense that some consider my hurt proper restitution for the evils of my race and gender, and this serves as an excuse to denigrate my feelings or opinions. In other words, sometimes for good

reason and sometimes not, I sometimes feel un-

comfortably challenged and stressed.

However, I believe this discomfort, contrary to the opinions expressed by others, is no reason for White persons, including males, to abandon the Center. The Center is continuing to do good work that is needed by our community, both on a day-to-day basis (such as the Hotline) and on a long-term basis (such as this process against racism). Moreover, this discomfort is not all the

"fault" of the Center. Some of it is an inherent part of the growth experience I must go through (in fact, only if I didn't care would it not hurt), and some of it is the result of attitudes of others that I feel are as prejudiced against White men as those held by White men against others. Regardless, it is all part of a process by which we all can rid ourselves of prejudicial attitudes, and which presents us all with opportunities for personal and community improvement. Only if we succumb to the argument that the hurt is itself a reason to abandon the process, and in turn abandon the Center because it is supposedly the source of the hurt, will nothing improve, the hurt remain, and both our Center and community will be misnamed shams.

Tom Isabel

I have been a financial supporter of the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center since 1989, when I became aware of the programs offered. After mid-1992, I became interested in devoting some of my time and energy to the Center's objectives by offering many of the experiences I have accumulated over a business career and half a lifetime of living.

When I was asked to consider joining the board of trustees in January of this year, there were ten board members. Bill Potoczak and I then brought the number to twelve. That rumber quickly became eleven, then ten, and now seven, with certain terms ending this past October and resignations. Many of my friends told me last year about their skeptical viewpoints of the Center's accomplishments and specific programs (or lack thereof), actions by Center management, and simply "the way our money is being spent." Some of these views were not correct, but they were out there.

After joining the board in January, I missed the March, April, and May meetings because of prior commitments away from northeast Ohio. Not long after my return, I became co-chair of the search committee for a new executive director, filling in after the process was well along and the first cochair decided she should not serve in that capacity. Today, Ibelieve the board did a fine job of selecting our new executive director, and I know that our decision will prove to be one of many major board accomplishments for the year 1993.

I am quick to admit that, at times, I have had to listen to non-constructive discussions between board members at board meetings. (And, I must add, that all organizations experience this.) Also, people, lesbians and gays particularly, have points of view on which they often do not want to compromise.

Once in awhile, we all need to be grabbed by the back of the head and, with emotion, told that we need to "brighten-up." I think this happened recently to all our community, at least those of us who have opened our eyes. Some of us didn't like the pull and tug, or how and when it was delivered (I didn't), but the delivery was effective (certainly for me) and some of us have changed or altered our way of thinking.

Tom Isabel versus Peggi Cella is not the issue. I have gotten to understand Peggi's viewpoint with a much better understanding of the built-in prejudices I have had all my life toward people who are different from me. The discussions I have had with many people and the viewpoints to which I have listened, have given me, personally, a better understanding of the needs of the many constituents of our community.

The seven current members of the board are of a single mind as to the future of the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center. We are very much in touch with each other. Our views are open, forthright, thought out, and constructive. With Joan Organ as our acting president, we have taken a very major step forward toward participative management of the affairs of the Center. There are no behind-the-scenes phone calls to build personal coalitions before a board meeting. We meet in an open atmosphere where all views and ideas are discussed and challenged in an honest, open forum.

Personally, I am excited about the new challenges before the Center. We will, with your support, provide the services necessary to meet the needs of our community-our all inclusive community. Every member of our community must give whatever personal time and whatever financial support he or she can commit to our Center. There are many issues we face and we must react together now. The Center board will effectively represent you and me. I pledge this to you.

Bill Tregoning

I have recently completed my first year of a three-year term as trustee of the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center. In that year I have witnessed, and been a part of, some of the most fundamental changes and growth that this agency has endured since it was established on the frame of the GEAR Foundation many years ago. I want to share for a moment what this period of change and growth has meant to me, and what my part in it has been; I do so with you in the belief that the Center will only be part of the lesbian-gay community when as many of you in the community as possible can see a face, hear a story, relate an experience and understand better the Center's human dimension.

Like so many organizations, clubs, and institutions, much rests on the commitment of a handful of dedicated individuals who feel com-

pelled to help their organizations in whatever way they can. Trustees are "trusted servants" of an organization, empowered to oversee their employees' management of the group or agency, increase its recognition in the wider community, and to attract the funds necessary to keep the organization financially healthy. Trustees also stand to be held accountable to the community at large, its membership, and to its funding sources

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and contributors, should anything happen to harm or endanger the organization.

I understood all these responsibilities when I stood for election to the Board of the Center last year. I had had many years of service on the boards of various arts groups in Cleveland (New Organization for the Visual Arts, Lyric Opera Cleveland, the Ohio Chamber Orchestra), and felt I could bring a different perspective to the Center board than was reflected in its membership at that time. It is this principle of diversitydifferent-ness-which I realize is so crucial to me personally, and by extension, to my success as a trustee of our Center.

"Diversity" has become the critical issue this year for the Center. Our agency has come under severe criticism for what appears to be insensitivity to the real needs of so many communities within our lesbian-gay community at large. I have taken the events of the last several months greatly to heart; I listened when the Fishbowl participants vented with terrific poignancy and anger their feelings of being ignored or, worse yet, patronized or marginalized. I acknowledged to myself the great courage and risk they showed in refusing to stay contained and ignored, and to what an extraordinary degree they had to go to get the rest of us to hear them and begin to make change through beginning our exploration of racism as it exists in our own lives.

With that acknowledgment, I begin my own work. I am "in process" with regard to my own racism. Because it is so central to the mission of the Center to be an agency for all elements of our diverse lesbian-gay community, I am committed to this process: talking with other EuropeanAmericans over their-our-perspective, examining my behaviors and assumptions, and above all, changing my behaviors when the opportunity arises. More than that right now, I cannot do. The challenges which face me as a trustee of the Center today have substantially increased my need to add on the role of gay activist to that of concerned individual. In this area, I too have recognized that I am "in process," and am at the beginning of "my work." I accept this challenge gladly as well. Only by fully recognizing the breadth of demands made on our community can I responsibly contribute to the direction of our community's most significant access center for information, assistance, support, comfort, and empowerment.

My vision of the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center is modelled on the success of the YMCA/YWCA in America. These agencies are the funnels of programs, social and informational, both into a given community and from it out to the public at large. The Center is our community's only funnel out into the straight community with accurate information and assistance; likewise it is the city-at-large's quickest and best source of finding answers to lesbian-gay questions or problems. Our programs and staff are the first line of defense against hate-crimes, the quickest source of support and comfort to the newly "out" individual, the gay-lesbian parent, gay-lesbian child, gay-lesbian senior; the Center is the best hope for a vision of community here in Cleveland that can access into the various ethnic lesbian-gay communities, so thoroughly estranged from the mainstream already.

To those of you who are willing to set aside preconceptions regarding the state of the Center's health based on second-hand information, I wish to emphatically state that our agency is very well indeed. It is now staffed with the finest group of professionals in our history. It is reinforced by a committed group of trustees with diverse backgrounds and common enthusiasm. It is financially sound and responsible to its funding sources and membership. I invite you to call me at the Center and talk with me if you choose to, regarding any questions you may have about the Center. I hope that you'll want to join me in bringing about our mission and goals. But be prepared: my first question for you will be: "Are you a member of the Center?"